A Heart of Stone


I was a man with ears but I never listened
I saw what was before me yet I was still blind
I would wrestle with hard concepts but fail at his word
There was enough to convince me but I still wouldn’t believe
I wanted to believe but my heart kept me away


These days when I look at the sun I can’t believe it
Was it always there before me?
The great wonder of creation speaking of him
Everything around bowed to this master
Yet I lived like a blind man deaf to his voice


But my eyes were not the problem
My ears could hear and my brain comprehend
But my heart refused to accept the obvious
In the eyes of the world I was brilliant yet foolish at heart
That stony interior made me dead from inside


I was a hopeless case, a dead man walking
Though I fooled many with my knowledge
I couldn’t fool God or myself and yet I did fool myself
I thought I could get away with ignoring him
But I rejoice that he didn’t follow after my indifference


He rattled my nest of ignorance with his powerful word
He lit through my blind eyes with his mighty works
He spoke in my ear with his compelling voice
He gave me a new heart of flesh destroying my stony one
He breathed life to my brain so I could know him as he is


I would never understand the Gospel with that stony thing
I wouldn’t yield to God’s word with my dead conscience
But with this heart of flesh everything seems so clear
On this other side I want to obey and to please him
This heart of flesh longs for it’s maker


Every Story needs Tension

We love stories that leave us wanting to read more. It’s the suprises, the tension within and that desire to see how it’ll all end up that keeps us following. If you forwarded the movie and opened the last chapter of the book you’d get the end but miss the experience. Every chapter counts in the books that make for great a masterpiece. Every turn of events even when we don’t get it at the time builds the tension for a great narrative.

Why is it then that we like our stories to be flat? To get all our prayers answered the way we want, when we want and how we want them. To move from point A to Z on a straight line. Most importantly why do we want to write our own stories when we are but characters in the grand master’s narrative? I think our lives would be easier if we let him finish the story for us. We would be happier if we didn’t keep interrupting and voicing our opinions.

But the problem is we want to be the author of our own fate. We are okay if the grand author does things the way we want. But the moment he starts going against our wishes, the moment he starts taking twist and turns we start getting angry. We start questioning his commitment to us, we doubt his sovereign hand and take matters to our hands. Strange that sometimes we can be asking God to take charge when we are completely unwilling for him to suprise us.

It’s scary to give up control of our lives. To let another be the author of our story and that of our loved ones. We feel responsible and that only we truly care in this selfish age. Problem is we know there’s so much beyond us. Even when we try our best we find that there are things we can’t change. We wish luck would be on our side but that doesn’t always happen. We get lucky this time but next time we face the music of this fallen world.

But instead of depending on lucky days the Bible calls us to entrust ourselves fully to another. To trust our Lord who doesn’t need to be lucky because he’s already in charge. But more than that he’s the one who tells those who believe to trust that he’ll never leave us nor forsake us, see Hebrews 13:5-6. He’s the one who can truly and safely bring us to the last page of our book. The question is whether we will trust him. We can either learn to surrender to him at all times or we’ll be forced to come to the reality of our inability after we’ve brought ourselves great despair.

May the Lord help us that we would let him write our story as he should. May he teach us the humility and calmness to accept the tension he weaves through our narrative. That he grant us the ability to trust him in the middle of the storm. Trust him when the darkness of the tunnel looks long and the twists and turns leave us confused. To help us that in our helplessness we’ll remember we can trust in him.

Raised in a me-world


You can be whatever you want in life
Work hard and you’ll be rich and successful
Find within what makes you great and special
Go for that person who makes you happy
It’s all about you in this me world
It’s a shame the world doesn’t belong to you


What makes you happy is all that matters
If they won’t join team A cut them out
They should be glad to join the winning team
She should be happy she’s dating you
They should be glad they know you
But what happens when team A fails?


You turn to blame game, it’s never your fault
Something or someone is to blame not you
It can never be you, you are so special
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Where is God when I need him most?
You get bitter and wallow in self pity


In truth the world is first God-shaped before you
Everything revolves around him and not you
And he calls you to be outward looking
True happiness is not me shaped he taught us
It’s giving and dying for others that’s our foundation
And in his footsteps we find true happiness


In a me world life very quickly crumbles
We are stressed when things don’t go our way
But in a God world that’s to be expected
Because this world is not our home
But he makes worth our failures and weaknesses
Before bringing us to our real eternal home


A proper perspective is to see all in God’s eye
It’s his world and all happen for his glory
And what’s good for God is good for us
His glory should be our greatest pursuit
His will and mission on earth our life goal
To live for him now before living with him forever