The Joy of Trusting Him


Little Amy holding dad

I heard her first cry and it was beautiful
I’ve never been happier hearing one cry
The agony and the tension was overcome
By that beautiful and confused cry
Finally she had arrived to make a home with us


Strange how the waiting season vanishes so quickly
In the middle of waiting it seems like forever
But then it happens and the agony is gone
The wounds and the scars witness the miracle
And they become marks of joy unending


With every grace and blessing God gives comes true joy
Not in the removal of total pain and suffering
But in the assurance that we have one who looks after us
One who sees beyond what we see
And truly cares for us more than we ever will know


Sad that sometimes we still doubt him
Even after he’s answered our greatest longings
Odd that future longings can make us forget his commitment
To think now he doesn’t care when he’s been so consistent
Tragic that we might even get bitter with him


We praise you Lord for your unending love and grace
For this precious blessing you’ve bestowed on us
Thank you for hearing our prayers and the ones we didn’t know to make
For your kindness and your gracious sovereign hand
Teach us to see that hand and hold more tightly


Though the future is unknown we know we are safe with you
We are never happier and safer than in your able, loving hands
Lord, teach our feeble hearts to trust and seek refuge in you
Turn our countless doubts and worries to trust
Give us the joy of a little child who trusts their Father


Every Story needs Tension

We love stories that leave us wanting to read more. It’s the suprises, the tension within and that desire to see how it’ll all end up that keeps us following. If you forwarded the movie and opened the last chapter of the book you’d get the end but miss the experience. Every chapter counts in the books that make for great a masterpiece. Every turn of events even when we don’t get it at the time builds the tension for a great narrative.

Why is it then that we like our stories to be flat? To get all our prayers answered the way we want, when we want and how we want them. To move from point A to Z on a straight line. Most importantly why do we want to write our own stories when we are but characters in the grand master’s narrative? I think our lives would be easier if we let him finish the story for us. We would be happier if we didn’t keep interrupting and voicing our opinions.

But the problem is we want to be the author of our own fate. We are okay if the grand author does things the way we want. But the moment he starts going against our wishes, the moment he starts taking twist and turns we start getting angry. We start questioning his commitment to us, we doubt his sovereign hand and take matters to our hands. Strange that sometimes we can be asking God to take charge when we are completely unwilling for him to suprise us.

It’s scary to give up control of our lives. To let another be the author of our story and that of our loved ones. We feel responsible and that only we truly care in this selfish age. Problem is we know there’s so much beyond us. Even when we try our best we find that there are things we can’t change. We wish luck would be on our side but that doesn’t always happen. We get lucky this time but next time we face the music of this fallen world.

But instead of depending on lucky days the Bible calls us to entrust ourselves fully to another. To trust our Lord who doesn’t need to be lucky because he’s already in charge. But more than that he’s the one who tells those who believe to trust that he’ll never leave us nor forsake us, see Hebrews 13:5-6. He’s the one who can truly and safely bring us to the last page of our book. The question is whether we will trust him. We can either learn to surrender to him at all times or we’ll be forced to come to the reality of our inability after we’ve brought ourselves great despair.

May the Lord help us that we would let him write our story as he should. May he teach us the humility and calmness to accept the tension he weaves through our narrative. That he grant us the ability to trust him in the middle of the storm. Trust him when the darkness of the tunnel looks long and the twists and turns leave us confused. To help us that in our helplessness we’ll remember we can trust in him.

When a society goes to the dogs

It was disgusting to watch that incident at Forest road. The way that boda boda gang treated that lady goes against what’s human, what’s African and most importantly what’s Christian. That men can result to sexual harassment in response to accidental wrong is unthinkable. The video alone is enough to leave you traumatized, imagine what’s happening to that lady. Only the Lord can heal such a wound.

But while this incident should call for decisive action on the perpetrators I think we also need to do serious soul searching as a society. Where are we headed if one cannot walk safely on our roads? And it’s not just because of such violence, it’s literally hard to walk or drive on our roads with boda boda coming from every side with no regard to law or common decency. Where are we headed if hooliganism and gender based violence becomes order of the day? If the social fibre is broken then the hard law should be imposed lest sin imprisons us all as a country.

But we need to ask, who are these children we are bringing up with no respect for human dignity? Who are their role models? What are we passing on? Are we doing anything to counter negative influences? For a country that boasts Christian majority how come we have so little Christian semblance? Are we even a society or just accidental acquitances with no regard for the other person? If the Gospel doesn’t tell me to value the other person at least as I do myself what do I have? I think we need serious work to rebuild our society as Kenyans and especially as Christians. We seriously need the Gospel to work in our people and change one man at a time. If not now then for the future before it’s worse and out of our hands.

We also need to be careful with the seeds we are sowing today. With the comments we make and the divisions we are causing. If we’ll go to any lengths to pursue what we deem right with no regard to human law or dignity then we’ve lost any humanness in us. Worse if we are Christian and the only person that concerns us is ourselves and those in our gang then we’ve lost the faith. I think this incidence is but a tip of a society that has killed any sense of common good and interest of others. We are a society that celebrates self, idolizes our brand and will crush anyone who tries to come between us and our idols. It’s a shame that we even proudly share this in the public space. And when chicken come to roost we’ll not believe what we have become.

This incident made me ask some serious questions. I thought blaming boda boda guys isn’t enough though this a menace that demands immediate action. But I also think the problem is broader and one that involves all of us. For a son, a brother, cousin, husband, future father, neighbor and citizen I wondered what I’m I doing to pursue the good of others not just my own and those that concern me? Can people feel safe when they pass me by the road? How do I look at the opposite gender? What comments do I make and what signals do I send? For the many I walk with in the Christian faith, what values I’m I teaching and modelling? Is the Gospel of my confession true in my lifestyle? Unless we take this issue personally, see it right to its roots and commit to change one man at a time and society as a whole, things will only get worse.

My prayer as a Christian is the Lord Jesus would comform me and the men among us to his nature. That like with him others would be safe and happy around us. May he remake us like the Philippians 2 model man who seeks not his own interests first but those of others even at his own expense. May he kill the sense of pride that says I’m right and my rights come first. May he help us not only prioritise our burdens but carry those of others.

I have sought to end this in prayer because I know how sinful and selfish I am. Though I know what the Bible calls me to do, selfishness wouldn't let me. Until we die to self like he did we will always put ourselves first at the expense of others. Only the man who follows Jesus is safe to walk by. Only such men will raise children with true biblical values. Only such men will make a safe society for women and other men. And it is only that true and practical Gospel that can save us.

Burn the old Bridge


If we keep looking over our past
Imagining what would have been
Wondering if we are missing out
Longing for what this body craves
Soon we’ll forget the chains of the old slave master
We’ve got to burn that bridge so we never look back


If we keep playing with the fire
Entertaining that old man of sin
Feeding him when he beckons us
Calling it a small slip into old habits
Soon those habits will become our lives
We’ve got to kill that old man and do it daily


How easily we forget the pains of slavery
It fades in our minds and says it wasn’t that bad
There were good things in Egypt we tell ourselves
Looking back on that bridge life doesn’t look so bad
But we should have burnt it when we closed over
We should never make peace with the old man of sin


We will never see what awaits us if we keep looking back
If our gaze is on the old life the new one will fade away
We will make sin into an idol of worship
We will trade off our priceless salvation
But soon we’ll realise how mistaken we are
Burn that bridge down and turn your gaze ahead


Look to the one who freed you from slavery
Look at the peace and joy he gives you in him
See what fellowship we enjoy with him
Walk this new bridge of life everlasting
Walk the path that brings you closer to him
Let you attention be on what he says in his word


Lord help us to kill the love of sinning
Give us your love for righteousness
Cause us to use our energy and time for you
To build bridges for the kingdom that lasts
To demolish ties with Satan and the world
And walk the narrow path that leads to life


This little life of mine

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On a good day I can trust my health

I feel strong and invincible not like some of you

I think I’ll endure whatever comes

No pathogen is going to bring me down

Yet all it takes is a small bug and I’m on my knees

It dawns on me quickly just how fragile this flesh is

I cannot count on my health when death comes knocking

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In a tender age I could count on my future

Sure I wasn’t born with a silver spoon like some

But I had the rest of my life to get one for my heirs

Every dream of mine was just a few years ahead

But how far could I scale before crumbling down

In the end it’s the worms that have a future with me

When death comes everything I built lies in ruins

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On the ladder of a good career I can see a future

There’s hope of better days ahead craved by many

Yes there’s no guarantee but every fibre of mine is optimistic

And you know what? I’m ready to do whatever it takes

No one and nothing is going to stop me from the top seat

But how many sacrifices will I make before it’s not worth it?

And if I get it what legacy do I leave that time won’t steal away?

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But if I cannot count on these what I’m I left with?

I’m I to succumb to hopelessness and wherever fate leads?

Should I live the rest of my life in fear of death?

Should I lose any sense of ambition and a better future?

If I stop dreaming what I’m left with but the brutal reality of this life?

I become like a drunk drinking my sorrows away waiting for death

I refuse to be that person, I refuse to believe tomorrow won’t be mine

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But perhaps today is all that matters, if I can’t defeat death I can live today

Should I follow that path? Live for today and be a man of the moment?

Sounds like something isn’t? At least I can count on the here and now

Live for the moment and enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts

Give me some music, take me away on a tour, find me a show of a lifetime

Problem is my today is not always glorious, some days I want to run away

Sometimes today is so bleak that without hope for tomorrow I’m lost

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This little life of mine what will I do with you?

Where on earth can I find sure comfort and safety?

Where do I land to escape such dilemmas?

Will the good life not be mine however hard I try?

Perhaps it’s because I’ve ignored the only one who can give it

That only the giver of life can give me today and hope for tomorrow

In him the fear of death is defeated and I can live sure of tomorrow

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From now on I walk like I will live forever because I know I will

I plan like a little child with an eternity ahead of me

I work hard not to secure my future but because I already have it

I live for the moment but also for the future

I give him my best now informed by my eternal future with him

And though I still fear death I’m confident it won’t be my end

This little life of mine will make a mark in honor of my Lord

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