A Heart of Stone


I was a man with ears but I never listened
I saw what was before me yet I was still blind
I would wrestle with hard concepts but fail at his word
There was enough to convince me but I still wouldn’t believe
I wanted to believe but my heart kept me away


These days when I look at the sun I can’t believe it
Was it always there before me?
The great wonder of creation speaking of him
Everything around bowed to this master
Yet I lived like a blind man deaf to his voice


But my eyes were not the problem
My ears could hear and my brain comprehend
But my heart refused to accept the obvious
In the eyes of the world I was brilliant yet foolish at heart
That stony interior made me dead from inside


I was a hopeless case, a dead man walking
Though I fooled many with my knowledge
I couldn’t fool God or myself and yet I did fool myself
I thought I could get away with ignoring him
But I rejoice that he didn’t follow after my indifference


He rattled my nest of ignorance with his powerful word
He lit through my blind eyes with his mighty works
He spoke in my ear with his compelling voice
He gave me a new heart of flesh destroying my stony one
He breathed life to my brain so I could know him as he is


I would never understand the Gospel with that stony thing
I wouldn’t yield to God’s word with my dead conscience
But with this heart of flesh everything seems so clear
On this other side I want to obey and to please him
This heart of flesh longs for it’s maker


Every Story needs Tension

We love stories that leave us wanting to read more. It’s the suprises, the tension within and that desire to see how it’ll all end up that keeps us following. If you forwarded the movie and opened the last chapter of the book you’d get the end but miss the experience. Every chapter counts in the books that make for great a masterpiece. Every turn of events even when we don’t get it at the time builds the tension for a great narrative.

Why is it then that we like our stories to be flat? To get all our prayers answered the way we want, when we want and how we want them. To move from point A to Z on a straight line. Most importantly why do we want to write our own stories when we are but characters in the grand master’s narrative? I think our lives would be easier if we let him finish the story for us. We would be happier if we didn’t keep interrupting and voicing our opinions.

But the problem is we want to be the author of our own fate. We are okay if the grand author does things the way we want. But the moment he starts going against our wishes, the moment he starts taking twist and turns we start getting angry. We start questioning his commitment to us, we doubt his sovereign hand and take matters to our hands. Strange that sometimes we can be asking God to take charge when we are completely unwilling for him to suprise us.

It’s scary to give up control of our lives. To let another be the author of our story and that of our loved ones. We feel responsible and that only we truly care in this selfish age. Problem is we know there’s so much beyond us. Even when we try our best we find that there are things we can’t change. We wish luck would be on our side but that doesn’t always happen. We get lucky this time but next time we face the music of this fallen world.

But instead of depending on lucky days the Bible calls us to entrust ourselves fully to another. To trust our Lord who doesn’t need to be lucky because he’s already in charge. But more than that he’s the one who tells those who believe to trust that he’ll never leave us nor forsake us, see Hebrews 13:5-6. He’s the one who can truly and safely bring us to the last page of our book. The question is whether we will trust him. We can either learn to surrender to him at all times or we’ll be forced to come to the reality of our inability after we’ve brought ourselves great despair.

May the Lord help us that we would let him write our story as he should. May he teach us the humility and calmness to accept the tension he weaves through our narrative. That he grant us the ability to trust him in the middle of the storm. Trust him when the darkness of the tunnel looks long and the twists and turns leave us confused. To help us that in our helplessness we’ll remember we can trust in him.

The Privilege of Adoption


I was afraid to be an adopted child
I feared I might not be loved as others
What’s worse? I have flaws I couldn’t change
I doubt I could prove my worth in his house
But he choose me with my flaws and made me his own


I feared I would soon let him down
And you know what? I was right
As soon as I settled in I forgot his rules
I broke them all and proved undeserving of his love
What amazed me is he drew me closer to himself in my weakness


He didn’t think I should be sent away
Although I think I would have kicked me out immediately
I didn’t help it either as I kept falling back to old habits
If he was a human Father I would be rotting in the dungeon
But not so with my heavenly Father, his love knows no limits


It causes me great displeasure to fail him
Not because I think he would kick me out
But because I would love to please and bear fruit for him
Great love should be repaid by great loyalty
But I’m afraid I have not yet attained this


Lord I pray that you’d conquer this heart
Though I belong to you, possess this heart completely
Make it your slave daily that I may please you always
I’m already yours but I would have everything in me be yours
Heavenly Father own my whole being and be alone my Lord


Made for more than the perfect Weekend

Ever felt like the anticipation of rest is more than the rest we actually get. You know when it’s a Thursday evening and you tell yourself just one more day and it’s the weekend. That feeling when you know Saturday morning lie in is coming. When you don’t need to snooze the alarm. It’s even better when you’ve had a long week. You can feel the dancing in your brain imagining all the rest you’ll get.

Unfortunately sometimes weekends don’t always deliver. Something happens that makes it hard to rest well. A sick child, a mourning friend or a bad quarrel with a spouse. Or you get that full weekend but perhaps the fear of the coming crazy week robs you the rest you anticipated. And even when we’ve got the perfect weekend we know it’s not going to last. Monday tends to come quicker than we imagine. And if you are unemployed rest becomes an unwelcome friend.

What is it with rest that is so fleeting? We want it so much but it always seem to escape us. The entertainment world tells us we can get it, just pay for Netflix. Go out hiking with friends or do nyama choma. But none of it seems to deliver on our wild craving for it. Are we just ungrateful people? It’s possible. Have we become too obsessed with rest that we miss the good occasional blessings of it? I think we have.

But there are also many things that make good rest one of those rare things despite God putting it in our weekly calendar. Perhaps the longing for perfect rest is like what C.S Lewis called a desire for something in the world beyond. It’s ingrained in us but can’t be fully realised in our present world. Perhaps we were made for rest because we were made for God. Isn’t it striking that we meet the idea of rest right at the beginning of our creation story.
Genesis 2 tells us;

2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3 Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2 NIV.

Of all the things you think about God have you ever associated him with rest? That he’s for rest and fun? Perhaps our pagan religious roots has made God feel like a man who hates rest and is anything but fun. We might even think a good Christian taking a day off is ungodly. It’s no wonder sometimes people can feel church is no fun. Like God is out to get me busy and heaven is all about Keshas and crusades. Well not really. The God we find in Genesis 1&2 works and after that enjoys his eternal rest. Actually our work is supposed to point us to that unattained rest. We were made for this rest with God.

The Hebrew author commenting on this says;

9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Hebrews 4 NIV.

Now that makes heaven fun doesn’t it? God isn’t calling us to a choir of angels flipping our wings up and down. He’s inviting us to take a holiday with him in his perfect creation. Just imagine going on a safari with Jesus with Paul driving. Man oh man! You must be like man I could do with that like now. Maybe you are not the outdoor kind of guy. Think about this then, playing a snooker game with King David. Or maybe it’s Timothy, David feels like the hunting kind of guy. Though he might enjoy a bit of dance for those with more than a left leg.

Now I know I’m making some of you uncomfortable with this but maybe it’s our imagination that needs a bit of work. I don’t for once imagine a boring heaven like our mystical religious world portrays it. Nor do I presume a hellish paradise with drugs and prostitution as the wicked man would want. I think the God who calls us to rest, the God who imagined the beauty of creation and one who really cares for his children is a lot more fun than we imagine. His is actually the right kind of fun. And in Jesus we can long for that perfect rest and for more than a weekend.

Listen to how Isaiah puts it and tell me if that’s not some perfect way to rest. Isaiah 25 says;

6 On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
Isaiah 25 NIV.

You heard that right. God is calling you to a heavenly party after party. Great meat, good wine, no tears, no death and no evil. If we got that even for a weekend it’d be worth everything wouldn’t it? Imagine having it for eternity. A life of fun with the Almighty and all knowing God. Imagine what his idea of fun is when you remove sin, death and Satan in the capture. I know I can’t wait. Can you?

When men are blind to the obvious!

I’m always amazed how easily we can miss things that are right infront of us. When something is so obvious to everyone else except us. Later on you hear friends say they can’t believe you didn’t see that. It was so obvious, how could you not see it. Many times we miss details about ourselves and it takes someone else to show us what should be plain to us. How is that possible? Are we just bad at reading ourselves and situations around us? Is there something wrong with our eyes.

I want to suggest there’s something else at play here, that the eyes of our hearts dictate what we see and sometimes undermine what should be plain to all. That we tend to see what our minds tells us and our hearts can blind us to the reality infront of us. Our eyes zoom on what our heart dictates and we miss what we don’t want to see. It’s no suprise that two people looking at the same situation can come out with different and sometimes contradicting interpretations. So if you go through life informed only by the desires of your heart you’ll be as blind as a bat. You’ll only see what your heart craves and undermine what challenges your lifestyle.

When it comes to the question of faith this is what we forget. That it’s really not a just question of evidence infront of us. It’s more a problem of the eyes within, it’s the inner man that calls the shots here. A man born blind and the one who enjoys the light of day are no different in this. They are both slaves to their heart desires until the strong light of the Gospel shines through. You listen to them argue vehemently like passionate intelligent men but it’s just the heart fighting to keep the status quo. They don’t want to change and therefore they aim at anyone and anything that challeges this. You see if the question of faith was merely a matter of evidence no one who’s ever looked at the sun would be a non believer.

Paul speaking to the Romans says creation testifies loudly about the creator. The morning breeze whispers his breath. The high mountains scream of his power. And from the lips of children comes his praise. Our eyes and ears testify against us because we see and hear the testimony of our maker every second we breath. And yet we remain so blind to not only ignore him but undermine this testimony. We overturn every pointer to him and live like it wasn’t there to our condemnation. The Bible says:

19 …what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Romans 1 NIV

The desires of our hearts overcome our eyes and we declare God has no say in our sphere. Our hearts wage war against his plain testimony. We see the wonder of creation but nothing about the creator. We feel the breeze but our conscience stops at the mere enjoyment. We enjoy the masterpiece of creation but either stop at that or go as far as saying it’s all an accident. Our eyes stop where our hearts decree and it doesn’t matter what reality dictates. It sounds outrageous but when you realise it’s the heart that sees it makes a lot of sense.

So we ask, is there a way out? We surely don’t want to go through life unaware of what should be obvious to us do we? I mean how can we call ourselves men of science and technology when we can’t trust our own eyes? How can we claim to be in control of our lives when we miss what should be obvious to us? And what’s to protect us from danger if we won’t even see it coming? And if the Bible is right, danger coming like a thief in the night. We might be meeting our maker tonight with nothing to defend us from his just wrath.

But the Bible says there’s a way out through the Gospel. And what I love about the Gospel is that the same God before whom we stand condemned, the one we’ve been denying and undermining all these years is the same that rescues us. There’s a way out if we’ll stop ignoring what God says and hiding our heads in the sand. It’ll start with confronting the eyes of our heart with the truth of the Gospel. For once we need to come out of hiding, to stop the blame game and be men enough to accept our guilt so we can seek his salvation. We need to be saved from the lies of our hearts so we can see life and this world plainly from the eyes of God as his Word shows us.

Many have come before us and left blinded by the eyes of their heart. Hell is full of people who cannot raise a finger against God that he didn’t make himself known. Sure we don’t get to see everything perfectly not but from his viewpoint we’ll see everything as we should. Don’t wait until it’s too late to see what should be plain to all. Don’t wait for fate to tell you how could you not see what was so obvious. Don’t be like the Pharisees who saw Jesus and his works but refused to see the truth that pointed to him as the Saviour they were waiting for. Come to him today for the salvation that only he can give. To receive new sight and a new identity.

11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

JOHN 1 NIV

When Men Teach God a Lesson


We live in a time when people not only rebel against God but where godly values are seen as being evil not just old fashioned. A time when many believe Christians and the God of the Bible should learn something from our woke world. A time when it’s not the church confronting the world but the world raising an accusation finger on the church. When our world truly believes the church and her long history of teaching and demanding obedience to an old book is actually the problem.

In truth we’ve been here long before only for the most part this has been localized in certain circles or remained a private struggle but now it’s becoming a mainstream view. More and more people are embolden not only to question God in private but confront him in public. Many believe it’s time for the church to listen and learn. And since the world is just a click away many have undertaken this as their mission. To confront Biblical values of marriage, our society, leadership at home, in church and in the world. To teach God a lesson on gender, equality and justice.

They point fingers on how God has dealt with the problem of suffering and see him as a perpetrator. The God of love in the Bible is seen as a God of hatred and as a narcissistic being. The God of mercy as a God who is indifferent to the plight of many. The saving God as nothing more than an angry teenager that sends to hell those who disagree with him. A God who picks up on small problems like sin, the choice of consenting adults, and blows these issues beyond proportion. From the view of the world God needs to sit and learn, to evolve and move with the times.

The question before us is, is the world right? Is there something we’ve got wrong? Is it possible the all knowing God has missed something here. For many of us within Evangelical faith, defined in biblical sense, even my description here is nothing short of blasphemy. I trembled as I penned it down but I don’t think we can avoid what the world is saying. Perhaps privately we hold to this but we are not as bold to say it. Now to be clear I don’t think they are right but I think this helps us understand the people we are trying to reach with the Gospel. To see where they are coming from. To understand the problem for some of them is not just mere rebellion. These are not people who knowingly or unknowingly are just going against God’s Word for the sake of it. It’s more invested than that and many of them might believe we are the problem not them.

As I said I don’t think this is necessary new to our world. It goes back to Adam and Eve and the tower of Babel in Genesis. You see sin is not just rebellion against God’s word. It also sells the lie that we know better and that we, not God, have the best interest for us and the world around us. That we are not just right but that we are just and moral unlike the God of the Bible. Satan whispers to our ear that the problem is that God doesn’t want us to be like him. That he wants to spoil our freedom and hinder us from what’s truly best for us. And that he’s never there when we need him most. He wants us scattered while the best thing would be for us to stay in one place seeking what’s best for humanity. Building a society and a name for ourselves in this world.

4 Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

Genesis 11.

While our world is more bold in calling God names and trampling down on Christian values, this is still the trick of the old liar. Sin has come out in public demanding of us to follow it’s own religion and calling names on those who disobey it. It calls men to follow it with a promise to make their life better. But in truth it’s just another faith, another gospel, the religion of modern man. But still it’s the old devil in the details masquerading like the angel of light. And this religion is strong because our hearts are easily drawn to it. It’s actually natural to man to see what God calls good as bad and see the promises of sin as heaven on earth. This is the faith of the natural sinful man.

Sin turns upside down what the Word of God demands. It pokes holes on the attributes of God and questions his motives. It raises questions on the relevance of the Bible to a changing world. And preaches to us that God either doesn’t know better or doesn’t care as much. It’s the Serpent telling Eve that God is just mean and doesn’t want us to be invisible like him. But as it was in the garden and all through Bible history, sin never delivers what it promises. But even then it demands we settle with that lie simply because it looks tangible.

But has our world become better as we’ve moved away from Christian values? Have we now found an answer to the happy ever after question in sexual revolution? Has our crusade on gender and equality outside of God brought us to the promised land? There are those who believe this is the case. But in truth when you look around you realise that as we’ve moved further away from God and his values we’ve only become more confused and lost. We are like the prodigal child that leaves their home away from the Father only to return miserable and empty.

The truth of the matter is we cannot sow seeds of selfish pursuit and still have a better society. We cannot shove God away and expect to enjoy his world without him. We cannot call good evil and evil good without facing the judgement of a broken world. It’s asking for Genesis 3 all over again. Actually it’s a miracle that we haven’t descended into anarchy sooner. It’s an act of grace that our society still works. If we managed to kick God out of the picture completely we would soon see the horns of the lying devil we are following.

In truth what our world is truly craving is a world devoid of problems. We are looking to have heaven on earth but we don’t want God in it. We essentially want to be like God and choose to blame him for our own failures. It’s Eve and the old serpent all over again. And as the Adams of this world we tell God it’s you who made us this way. You are to blame not us. Your way is not good for us. Give us a chance to show you how things are done. Take a back seat and learn what true human values look like. But praise be to God that even when he allows us to kick him out still he stays close. Praise God that amidst this man made hell God is actively involved as God over all and especially through the work of the Gospel.

For those caught up in this, what you are truly looking for, a world without problems, true freedom and happiness is actually found in God through the Gospel. It’s the lie of the devil that says you can get it in the world or in believing and following your heart. You are still not free for in getting the world beneath your feet the devil asks you to bow before him. The world, the devil and sin cannot provide what they promise. They are like politicians in a general election. They’ll say anything to get in but once in you’ll be in their mercy.

Perhaps you are right there’s something wrong with our churches today but it’s not God who is wrong. It’s when our churches have not given you the full Gospel picture. When we have picked and chosen what to teach, what sin to condemn and what attribute of God to hammer down. The God of the Bible as we see when the Gospel is taught clearly is truly invested in your life. He’s not just the Judge but Saviour. He doesn’t condone one sin and judge another. His son was tempted like you are and through the cross brought into everlasting life. He couldn’t bow to the devil and the lies of the world even when they wanted to crown him king. He knew they had no real power to provide what they promised.

But what the world promises and can’t give God promises and has given. In the Gospel we see one who died for us. One who is carrying us to our eternal home. One who sympathises and helps us in our weaknesses for our own good. One who will truly give heaven to those who trust and walk with him. Choosing God won’t give you heaven here and now. It won’t fulfill your wild cravings or make your life easier. But you are far better off with him than in the world. You’ll get true eternal heavenly hope and help by his Word and Spirit in this life. True happiness is found in him not outside of him. What you are looking for is the salvation only he gives. And you finally behold his true face in the Gospel you’ll shout in his praise.

1 In that day you will say:

“I will praise you, Lord.

Although you were angry with me,

your anger has turned away

and you have comforted me.

2 Surely God is my salvation;

I will trust and not be afraid.

The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and

my defense;

he has become my salvation.”

3 With joy you will draw water

from the wells of salvation.

Isaiah 12 NIV