When you learn to drive you also learn to bear with the agony of traveling with other drivers. There’s always someone who’ll think you are too slow, too careful and just not cut for the city. Another thinks you are too fast, too reckless and can’t believe you passed the driving test. From the moment you start the engine to the time you park someone will have said or unsaid reservations. Imagine doing life with such constant doubt and apprehension. It’s no fun driving like that and it’s less fun doing anything else with such a partner. Unfortunately, that explains most of our relationships with God.
Mostly, it is not that we doubt his driving skills after all he is the God of the universe. But we are not always confident of his decision making. We see him take a turn on the right and wonder if he knows where he is going. Though we acknowledge his power and goodwill we don’t always see his complete hand in our lives. Sometimes we think he’s generally good but not always good to us. Other times we doubt his power and grace. We ask, how can he be good and kind yet drive me through such pain and loss?
We Struggle to Trust our Driver
We sit next to God on the bus and the whole journey we are either giving him a piece of our mind or if afraid to question him we are clenching our fists at the edge of the seat. Other times we are happy and carefree but the moment he hits the bump we question his credibility. When he takes a different turn or decides to adjust the speed we breathe out in exasperation. He might be a great driver but we wonder if he is driving us where we want to go.
If we are honest we will acknowledge our path of faith isn’t always smooth despite riding along the King of the universe. In truth I don’t think it’ll be as smooth on this side of eternity. This is not because the driver isn’t qualified and committed but because we make very bad traveling buddies. We like it when he drives the bus on our terms. But true faith dictates we let him drive it on his own terms. That we learn to trust him even when he goes into the dark tunnel. When he breaks and seems to turn back. When we are not even sure where he is headed. Faith in God doesn’t just apply when we are loving the ride but especially when the storm is coming our way. When we want to jump out of the moving vehicle.
But our Father Knows our Struggles
But there’s a silver lining. Our heavenly Father knowing our doubting and anxious hearts not only gets to drive our life bus, he teaches us how to sit next to him. Faith isn’t the ticket we bring to ride with him. No even that is a free gift from him. Like a good driver his eye stays on the road but his hand holds us close. He leads us through the path of cool waters after the valley of the shadow of death. And though he walks us through the dark alleys the beautiful thing is he walks with us. We would do better to look to him, hold his hand and calm our anxious hearts with the assurance of his word.
Dear Lord, though I have given you the keys to my life in Christ I would ask that you teach me total surrender. Grant me the peace to sit next to you through the storms of life. Not because I don’t care but because I trust in you. And when I doubt your goodness reassure me that you are more committed to your beloved church than we’ll ever know. More interested in my little hairs than I care for my family. That though you walk me through the storm it is you on the driving seat. Teach this anxious heart the peace of trusting in you.