Knowing the Man Inside

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There’s nothing more beautiful than truly knowing yourself

Knowing the person who rents the house within

The world can see his abilities and potential

But knowing his weakness and flaws is powerful

Yes you may hide them and pretend but you need to know

I say you’re never more alive, never free to live

Never breathing than when you know the man inside

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When I lived in the pretense of my goodness

In the slavery of my self-righteousness

And the idolatry of my potential and ability

I thought highly of myself but was always guilty of something

I enjoyed when my ego was caressed

But was in tears whenever I went unrecognized

I thought I was free but that was another lie I told myself

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I thought I was good and mostly better than most

I thought people were privileged to know me and be around me

What a once in a generation kind of man I thought myself

Then in my bed at night I tossed when I did something bad

I had lied to myself and thought of me righteous and beyond failure

Oh, the agony of keeping up with my own set expectations!

I was a slave handcuffed by my own hands in my own dungeon

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But every morning I woke up and went back to my lies

I thought today I’ll do better than yesterday

I’m able to do far much more than people think

My slave heart told me I’ve such power within me

And so I went on trying to prove my goodness

I walked around my own dungeon and thought myself free

Someone complimented me and I thought yes that’s me

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I was wounded by those who saw my flaws

I tried to argue out why that wasn’t actually me

I worked hard to show them to be wrong about me

The slave within me didn’t want to accept the obvious

It was a hopeless situation that none could save me from

I was lying to others about me and to myself

But one day the truth hit me like a quick bullet

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I was introduced for the first time to the true man inside

I saw him as he was with his abilities yes

But for the first time, I saw his deep wretchedness

The man I tried to defend was rotten and dying

He needed someone to heal his wounds

He needed a Saviour not a lawyer to defend him

I’ve honestly never been more liberated

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My eureka moment happened when the Gospel lit inside

When I truly understood its claim that I’m a sinner

I couldn’t truly comprehend salvation before

Because I didn’t truly think myself to be deeply sinful

Yes I knew I wasn’t perfect but always thought myself better

The Gospel told me who I really was

And I was liberated for the first time from my own shackles

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These days I don’t think too highly about this man

If people happen to notice my weakness I’m not surprised

Not that I no longer care about my reputation but I know this guy

I have nothing of my own apart from that which I was given

Everything I am and own and claim as mine isn’t mine

It’s the Lord’s who gave me when he saved me from my shackles

When he made this son his own son by the blood of his Son.

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