I was brought up and raised in a Christian background. My mother is a staunch believer in the Christian faith, something borrowed from my grandmothers. Before high school, I always considered myself born again or at least that is what I got from my Sunday school teacher and I had no problem with such identity. However, going to high school I became a bit skeptical about the faith and as I gained more understanding as regards living a responsible Christian life, I realized it was a position I could no longer sustain yet at the same time enjoy life like my age mates.
As a young person, I felt like all along my rights to enjoyment had been infringed and Christianity was the excuse my parents used to take control of my life. In addition, the Christian theory started to lose meaning in my life and even though I prayed during difficult times, I no longer wanted to be associated with the church. I was ashamed to walk to church with my mum and to be seen singing on crusades.
I started missing Sunday service and my mum had to call our pastor to talk to me about it as she would no longer be able to convince me why I needed to go to church. In addition, I had joined a group of friends and watching movies on Sundays and taking nature walks seemed more appealing than following my folks for a Sunday service.
My pastor was, however, able to convince me to go back to church without necessarily giving my life to Christ and for like two years I lived that way, only reading psalms, proverbs and Ecclesiastes for wisdom and interacting with the gospels for my religious studies. I did love the singing and dancing and the word was really informative and even though I wouldn’t doubt the existence of God, I did not feel obliged to declare salvation.
In form four I was very eager to pass my exams and that saw me kneel frequently before God that my dream to go to the university would someday be fulfilled. When I finally made it, getting an A in a day school; I was sure that it took the hand of God and so I decided to give my life to Him.
Unfortunately, that reason was not still enough to sustain my salvation or answer the many skeptical question regarding the faith and as soon as I came to campus I immediately fell out. I did love to go to church as was the tradition and would enjoy chatting with people about religion. I wanted to have fun and I did try that out but in a way I could never fit in the hedonist world. While my friends would seem to enjoy alcohol and flirting, I felt something in me that pushed me away from that life.
I was rebellious to that voice but the more I tried to indulge the worse I felt and with time I realized it was hard to run away from the morals I grew up with.
Friends invited me to the CU and on one Sunday morning the message on “Luke warmness- Revelation 4:15-17” was preached and I could hear the preacher speaking to my heart. I was greatly grieved and I felt a pain within as if I would die if I did not immediately quit from my way of life and rededicate my life to Christ. The words,” …I am about to spit you out from my mouth-Revelation 4:16” were so direct to me and I didn’t consider myself to have a choice but be saved or die literally speaking. I made a decision to follow the preacher afterwards but then I developed cold feet and left for my room but I still could not find rest and so I called a classmate who had kept preaching to me and I told him to pray for me.
After that I calmed down and I never wanted to go back to my earlier life. Since then I have seen God work in my life and through the CU, bible study and the ministries of Compassion and BEST P (Bible Exposition Self Training program) I can say I have grown in the faith and unlike the first time or the second time I got born again, I do now know what it means and entails to be saved. I am here to stay and I am ready to give all if only to honor Him who loved me first. Sharing about Christ’s love, mercy, justice and grace has become the practice that develops most satisfaction to me. In specific the area of bible study and Christian Apologetics has been the platform I identify with for I believe it was out of lack of knowledge in the word and my uninformed skepticism that held me back from the Lord. Today, I want to reach someone who is where I was and show them the truth.
I can say like Romans1:16 that I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. I consider myself privileged to be a son of God. And today all I care is to fulfill His will here on earth; by that I am living and ready to die when He calls me home.